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From the desk of Coach James

The real reason you feel trapped by life and how to un-tie yourself

Do you ever stop and say to yourself, “I try really hard, but my life’s simply not working out the way I intended.” and then try again, putting in even more effort?

Monday comes, the alarm clock starts making an incessant noise, that won’t stop until you interact with it. You drag yourself out of your comfy bed, and then it’s all systems go. “This week, this is my week, I’m going to make it all happen.” You set your good intention for the week, and away you go. By Friday you’re so relieved it’s all over, you can taste the pizza before you even leave the office. You get home in an exhausted manner, perhaps a little melancholy; knowing the good intentions you set on Monday, never came into fruition. Why does this happen?

It is no great mystery that many people are dissatisfied with their lives, they follow the routine of 9-5 justly, yet feel life lacks fulfilling meaning. You applied for a new job but it was the same there. What is the answer, to this conundrum life serves up?

Could the answer lie in a piece of genius left to us in the form of a quote from Albert Einstein? “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

My research into human psychology and personal development has led me to the conclusion that it is our habits that are controlling our life and what we get out of it. Often our habits were formed in the early stages of life, and we keep on doing the same things, even though we want a different result at the end of the day.

You live in your comfort zone, consistently doing what you’ve always done, because it’s easy and safe, nothing will rock the boat.

Forming new habits means you'll change - and change is scary, that's why we don't do it - when you change what you are doing, you'll change the outcome. The result might not appear overnight, but slowly and surely, if your new habits become routine, you will be on your way to getting the outcome you seek.

If you wish to lose weight, you know what is required. You eat less and exercise more. Instead of eating three cream puffs a week, you may cut down to only eating one. If the new habit of eating less is stuck to, eventually, you will see the desired result – weight loss. If you want to speed up the process, you’ll add in more new habits, like going to the gym, or taking the dog for a longer walk.

As a society, we do what we do because that’s the way it is. People have always done it that way, so that’s the way we’ll do it. Times have moved on since, “Back in my day”. We grow up dragging our habits with us, “That’s the way they taught it at school.” yes, when you were seven.

In order to live the life you want, you may have to step over the boundary line of your comfort zone and rock the boat, to get the outcome you want. Forming new habits, means abandoning the ones that no longer serve a purpose, and are possibly holding you back.

To untie yourself from the shackles of out-dated habits start with something small, change the way you drive to work, or sit in a different place in a meeting. Take it gradually. One big change can sometimes be overwhelming, but lots of small changes stacked up over time will be less daunting.

Changing things up can often be the catalyst for inspiration, you get out of the rut and find a new solution to your problem.

Don’t be afraid to do something not in your routine, you might surprise yourself by what happens. You’ll never know, what could be, if you keep doing what will be.

For life coaching and help with anything discussed in this article, simply visit:

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