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From the desk of Coach James

How to live the perfect life you dream of

I remember when working for Esquire magazine, we got to interview an ex-Playboy bunny, who’d gotten involved with the online poker industry. My editor asked what her plans were for the future, and if she ever thought of settling down, the idea of 2.4 children and a white picket fence? At the time, as I was transcribing the interview, I was not familiar with what 2.4 children actually meant, but it refers to a stereotypical characteristic of normal family life – two parents, four children.

Does a normal life exist; and what is stereotypical? Times move rapidly, and with it so do our interpretations of what ‘normal’ is for each of us. Everybody has an ideal image of what a normal, or perfect life would look like for them.

What is a perfect or normal life for you; have you got an idea of that in your mind? Chances are you have, and there is a high probability that those images in your head not aligning perfectly with the reality outside of your head. World renowned life coach to the stars Tony Robbins, says that is where most of our stress and dissatisfaction comes from, because the image of the way life should be in our head don't match the world in which we live.

To create the perfect life, we need to define it, what does that look like, and is it realistic for you? If you are seeking the perfect life, just know that perfect doesn’t exist. If life was perfect, rosy 24/7, with no shades of darkness, life would be boring, we all need a bit of variety in our lives. Without sad times, there is no bench marker to measure happy times. Perfectionism often takes people hostage because in their pursuit of it, and being unable to obtain it they stall, and sometimes fall into an abyss of despair.

So, to get the perfect life, realise that perfect doesn’t exist in a state that is obtainable. The idea of perfect is great, it gives us something to go after, but it’s a bit like a carrot on a stick, it’s always dangling in front of us, but we never quite get it.

You may have this idea of what the perfect car is, but when you get it, it’s not quite as perfect as you thought it would be. Then when the following year’s model comes out, that’s perfect in your mind, and your vehicle does not meet that criteria of being perfect any longer.

Don’t settle for less than you’re worth, and always go after what you want, but just become aware that the ideal image of perfect in your head, it is just that, an image in your head that can easily be distorted. If everything was perfect, I’m sure it would become very boring after a while.

Learn to be happy with the way life is right now, and then you won't feel the dissatisfactions that come with feeling less than happy with where you are at the moment.


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